My wife slept on the couch last night in protest of dreams she had in which I committed various crimes. (I had stolen bread from a convenience store, and slept with her sister, though the order of these actions is unclear.) This is the seventh time in our brief marriage she has done this. In the evenings, I can no longer watch our favorite television programs on the couch because I am distracted by the fact that the couch has become a tribunal for imagined wrongs. She watches the programs while I only pretend to, distracted. Secretly, I am processing the anxiety of awaiting a verdict. 

Watching television programs together is complicated by the fact that my wife is hard of hearing and frequently asks me to repeat lines of dialogue she has missed. Instead of repeating them, however, I supply my own improvised lines, using the opportunity to introduce new characters and imaginary conflicts, so she is unknowingly watching a program two orders removed from the one I am only half-watching. I plan to eventually feed her dreams back to her by introducing a storyline that involves petty theft and infidelity.

Carl Hansen Manks
06 01 16